Be Prepared to Shoot the Nanny – Rachel Kolar

By the time her husband came downstairs, Miranda was nearly frantic trying to find a kill switch for the nanny. “Katie got herself eaten over the weekend,” she said without looking up, her fingers dancing across the surface of her smartphone. “Some drunk driver hit her car, and her boyfriend reanimated before she could get to the gun in her glove compartment. Honestly, what idiot keeps her gun that far out of reach?” Her husband…

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Business as Usual – N. R. Lambert

“Thank you for registering with NamMo.com, America’s #1 personalized munitions retailer…” The message arrived at 8:46 a.m. Andy was fixing his coffee for the drive to work when the alert dinged. He finished stirring and sat at the counter before flipping open his hybrid and tapping the tablet’s screen. “Thank you for registering with NamMo.com, America’s #1 personalized munitions retailer. As required by Section 80166 of the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of…

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Never Miss: Moses Abebe is a Machine – J. T. Gill

2016 Metaphorosis magazine covers

“After just one year, undrafted rookie Moses Abebe has taken the league by storm, becoming the first player in NBA history to make every shot in a single season…” “Moses Abebe continues to dominate headlines as well as opponents after his performance in game four of the NBA championship, making him the only player ever to complete two full seasons with an unprecedented one hundred percent completion percentage. But some do not agree with the…

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The Stars are Tiny Lights on a Perfect Black Dome – Simon Kewin

2016 Metaphorosis magazine covers

“Chancellor, it’s Zend, at the University. One of your research students. I think you should come and see something.” The voice on the other end of the line was groggy. The Chancellor didn’t bother to keep the irritation from his voice. “Are you aware what hour it is, Zend?” “Sorry, yes, it’s late, I know. Or I mean early, depending on how you look at it.” “Have we inadvertently fabricated another black hole in Astrophysics?…

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The World’s Secret Heartbeat – Aatif Rashid

2016 Metaphorosis magazine covers

Blake tried once again to start his car, a mustard-yellow vintage two-door from back when companies still made gasoline cars — but the engine only sputtered and groaned. It sounded to Khalid like a dying person, coughing and wheezing through its final moments of life with a few last and naive gasps of ill-conceived hope. “I told you we should have taken the electric,” Khalid said. “Don’t worry!” Blake called from the driver’s seat. “It’ll…

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My Last Summer at Camp Unterlaken – Eugene Morgulis

Camp Unterlaken wasn’t for everybody. Kids who came expecting a safe and cushy woodland experience barely lasted a week. I mean, you could get splinters from just about any surface, the mosquitoes could eat you alive, and the water in the lake was always, always freezing. But my friends and I went back every summer. We treated Unterlaken’s rustic roughness like a badge of honor. Proof of our toughness in a world of bubble-wrapped jungle…

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