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A perfunctory stare hovers above the counter of Sharpington Coffers, a small antique store on the south side of Picadilly Circus. The owner of the stare, one Mr. Bartholomew Sharpington, watches his entrance with the patience of the rat catcher, waiting outside a hole for his prey, his customer, who will be walking through those doors… any… second… now. Ching. Ching.
A tall man in a black hat steps into the store and shakes his wet jacket onto the floor without so much as an apology. Sharpington, used to the rudeness of Londoners, pulls his cheeks up into a smile as if…
I can’t seem to finish the analogy here. He smiles as if… what?
Some Notes for Future Revision:
- Get rid of the words “perfunctory,” “of the store,” and “rat catcher” (instead say, “… with the patience of a cat.” Or “a cat’s patience.” Pick one.)
- Get rid of “without so much as an apology.” Unnecessary.
- Do you need the Ching Ching?
- Don’t forget, the Insta-Karma people said that when you remove his visor, make sure the red light is off, even if his identity doesn’t take, otherwise the degeneration might accelerate. DON’T FORGET.
Sharpington’s Coffers – Current Score 49.8 – Erik Goldsmith
The Cure for Cancer – Ryan Fitzpatrick
The Wife of Fabian Vitalik – Mariah Montoya
My Book Report on Starlight – Joachim Heijndermans
Q: What is your favorite word?
A: Tintinnabulation is my favorite word. How musical it sounds. How magical. For me, this word always evokes a picture of fairy bells ringing in the breeze.
Octavia Cade has a PhD in science communication. Though seaweed was her first biological love, she’s currently researching the germination triggers of New Zealand’s only seagrass.
Q: Is there a specific environment you find most conducive to writing, and is it different for different kinds of scenes?
A: The only place I can get any writing done is in my home office. I’ve never been able to write in public places like coffee shops, and I can’t get any writing done if there is any kind of distraction (including music). In order to write I need quiet, stillness, and the comforting/sinister presence of the Dalek sculpture I keep on my desk.
Sabrina N. Balmick was brought up on a steady diet of fairy tales and folklore. When she isn’t dreaming up new fantasy worlds, she leads content strategy and marketing for a national recruitment firm. She lives in South Florida.