E.C. Fuller’s story “Singot” was published in Metaphorosis on Friday, 2 July 2021.
“Singot” was inspired by two things: a screenshot of a Tumblr post about how kindergarten teachers are perfect for teaching people how to be human and an NPR podcast about anthropologists believing they had discovered a new emotion. The idea that you could discover a new emotion gripped me. I had recently realized I was asexual, and I didn’t like it at all. I wanted to feel something for another person; I felt messed up, but ached to share, and wanted not just to be seen, but found and spoken to. And most importantly, to be understood. Hence, singot: the wordless understanding of a person’s entire life.
But if given the chance to singot, I’m not sure I would take it. When thinking back over my life I wonder, God, how I did I miss that I was asexual? I usually answer, because I was happy as I was. I love learning about the world and the people who walk on it. Why introspect when there’s a zillion things to learn? And if we understand immediately, perfectly, does that mean we lose learning? I wanted to explore what we lose by understanding perfectly or imperfectly, using a strong chain of causal and emotional logic, and find an answer I could live by.
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