Exhibit 57-B in the matter of Alonzo Montalvo v. MoodFoods Incorporated is brought to you by NeutralBot, today’s leading provider of AI-directed viewpoint-neutral video analysis. NeutralBot: because no humans means no bias.
This transcript has been enhanced with NeutralNotes™, providing useful context and analysis where deemed appropriate by the NeutralBot AI. These NeutralNotes™ have been crafted by our state of the art AI to be relevant to Alonzo Montalvo’s claim that MoodFoods Incorporated must indemnify him against any claims of assault, bodily injury, and/or property damage made by Maria Yevez, Steven Prosser, SceneBeyond Studios, or any of their affiliates or associates.
TRANSCRIPT BEGINS
(The video opens with a view of a black and white clapper board. The board indicates this is the first take of a commercial advertisement.)
Director Maria Yevez (hereafter, MY): Action!
(The clapper board is removed. Alonzo Montalvo stands smiling in front of a television set made to resemble a kitchen. Various MoodFoods Incorporated products are arranged on counters and tables behind him.)
Alonzo Montalvo (Party A) (hereafter, AM): Hello there! I’m Alonzo Montalvo, Emmy-nominated star of television’s Open Heartbreak Surgery.
(NeutralNote™: AM’s Emmy nomination was for a local award during his brief period as a news reporter in New Mexico. The nomination preceded the filming of the transcribed commercial by seventeen years.)
AM: As a famous Hollywood actor, I know how important it is to keep control over my emotions. You know, we all have days when we need to feel one way, but for one reason or another we’re feeling something completely different. Don’t you wish you could just change your emotions with a snap of your fingers? Well, now you can! That’s why I’m here to talk to you about MoodFoods.
(The camera tracks AM and zooms in slightly as he moves to a counter where a MoodFoods brand JoyJelly has been plated. The orange coloration is consistent with Cantaloupe Contentment flavor.)
AM: If you’re one of millions of Americans like me who sometimes needs a little pick me up to shake off the blues, you’re probably already familiar with JoyJelly. Not only does this delicious gelatin dessert taste great, it actually gives you a powerful feeling of peace and happiness.
(AM picks up a spoon and carves out a bite of JoyJelly.)
AM: JoyJelly is not an antidepressant. There are no side effects. No addiction. It’s just like a little spark of happiness right in your brain, perfect for bringing you out of a slump or starting your day with a little extra spring in your step.
(NeutralNote™: The preceding statement by AM is not consistent with current FDA labeling and advertising regulations applying to emotion-altering foodstuffs in general and MoodFoods in particular.)
(Party B disputes the neutrality of the preceding NeutralNote™.)
(AM eats the bite of JoyJelly.)
AM: Mmm-mmm! That is refreshing. Not only does it taste great and freshen my breath, I’m already feeling a… a…
(AM trails off. His lips are smiling, but there is fear in his eyes. Something has gone wrong.)
(Party B disputes the neutrality of the preceding line of transcription.)
AM: I’m sorry, can we cut?
MY: What’s wrong? That take was going great.
AM: I think I’m feeling it. I mean, the happy feeling.
MY: So? That’s what this stuff does. You’re supposed to get the happy feeling.
AM: I thought we were using duds. I mean, ones without the stuff in them.
MY: It’s fine. It’ll just make it easier to pretend to be happy.
AM: I’m an actor. I pretend to be happy every day. I don’t want to take a bunch of drugs while I’m working.
MY: They aren’t drugs. They’re single use nano—
AM: Fine, whatever, not the point. Can’t we get some fake ones in here?
MY: I’m sorry, no. The FDA doesn’t let us do that anymore. They say it’s a form of false advertising.
(NeutralNote™: MY’s statement is not an accurate reflection of current FDA advertising regulations. Her statement may be a reaction to recent class action litigation against MoodFoods Incorporated.)
(Party B disputes the neutrality of the preceding NeutralNote™.)
AM: (EXPLETIVE DELETED). Is this even safe? I mean, I’m going to be eating these things all day. The script says I’m supposed to take a bite of everything at one point or another.
MY: It’ll be fine. Medical and legal cleared everything. They’re not drugs. Besides, a lot of MoodFoods counteract the effects of other MoodFoods. It’ll probably all cancel out in the end.
AM: … Fine. Okay. I’m a professional. I’ll get this done.
MY: That’s the spirit. Cut. Let’s get ready for take two, people.
(The video cuts to the clapper board. It indicates this is the second take.)
MY: Action!
Action proceeds in a fashion similar to the first take. AM’s speech remains on script. For the sake of brevity, AM’s speech is omitted from this transcript up until after he takes the first bite of JoyJelly.
AM: Mmm-mmm! That is refreshing. Not only does it taste great and freshen my breath, I’m already feeling a sense of euphoric calm. With JoyJelly those everyday anxieties and concerns just melt away. It’s a milder alternative to chemical mood alteration, with none of the weight gain or sexual dysfunction associated with drug-based treatments. Mmm-mmm!
(AM takes a second bite of the JoyJelly.)
(NeutralNote™: According to Exhibit 36-A, MoodFoods Infomercial Script, this second bite was not part of the script for the infomercial.)
(Party B disputes the neutrality of the preceding NeutralNote™.)
AM: Delicious! But we can’t just feel happy all the time, can we? The human experience is so much richer than that. Unending happiness from a blob of gelatin will ultimately feel hollow and meaningless without—
MY: Stop!
(AM looks off-camera to MY. His smile is broader than ever, but his eyes show annoyance.)
AM: What’s the problem?
(MY steps in front of the camera to speak with AM.)
(NeutralNote™: At this point in the video, MY does not appear to have any of the scrapes, bruises, or other superficial injuries documented in Exhibit 16-A through 16-D, medical records of Maria Yevez.)
MY: You’re off script.
AM: I know. I was ad-libbing.
MY: The whole point of the product is that people can eat it and feel happy. MoodFoods doesn’t want you calling the sense of euphoria their product provides “hollow and meaningless”. They certainly don’t want you referring to the product as a “blob of gelatin”. That’s not the message we’re going for here.
AM: I was trying to transition to the SadSoup segment. You know, explain why they’d want to use a product that makes them depressed. I still don’t understand why anyone buys that stuff.
MY: Just stick to the script, please. Cut!
(Video cuts to the clapper board. This is the third take.)
MY: Pick it up from “but we can’t just feel happy all the time”. Action!
AM: But we can’t just feel happy all the time, can we? What if you need to put yourself in the right frame of mind for a funeral, a memorial service, or a day of remembrance for a major national or international tragedy? Well, MoodFoods has you covered there, too.
(AM moves to another counter. A serving of SadSoup has been poured into a bowl. The empty can sits nearby. The label and green coloration of the soup are consistent with Sorrowful Spinach flavor. The camera zooms in to capture a close up of the bowl of soup and the label on the can.)
AM: Introducing SadSoup, the perfect appetizer to put you in a somber and reflective mood.
(AM ingests a spoonful of SadSoup.)
AM: With a sharp bitterness reminiscent of dark chocolate, SadSoup is perfect for serving at those occasions when you want everyone to be joined by a communal feeling of sorrow. Mmm. You know, this reminds me of my dog Max. He died just last…
(AM is visibly tearing up.)
AM: I’m sorry, can we cut again?
MY: What is it now?
(The video continues recording despite AM’s request to cut.)
(NeutralNote™: Anecdotal evidence suggests SceneBeyond Studios camera operators are trained not to cut until the director personally calls for it.)
AM: The teleprompter says Max, but that wasn’t my dog’s name. My dog was named Rex.
MY: (quietly, sarcastic) How creative. There’s that Emmy-winning talent.
AM: What?
MY: We made Max up for the script. It’s not supposed to be about your real dog.
AM: Well, why can’t it be? I mean, does it matter whether it’s a fake name or not? I want to talk about Rex. I miss him.
MY: … Fine. I guess it doesn’t matter. You can change the name to Rex if you stick to the rest of the script.
AM: I hadn’t seen him for years. Cynthia got him in the divorce. So when I heard she’d put him down, I—
MY: Mr. Montalvo, I’m sorry, but we have to keep shooting. We have three more commercials to film today.
AM: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
MY: Cut.
(Cut to the clapper board. This is the fourth take.)
MY: Pick it up from “Introducing SadSoup”. Action!
(AM repeats the lines and action in accordance with the script, including ingesting another spoonful of SadSoup.)
AM: You know, this reminds me of my dog Rex. He died just last year. It can be sad to think of loved ones we’ve lost over the years, but there’s also a certain catharsis that comes with exploring those losses. Don’t bother with expensive therapists and grief counselors. With SadSoup you can express the full depths of your loss and move on as a fuller, more complete person. MoodFoods—
(A microphone boom descends into view.)
(NeutralNote™: Visual analysis has determined with 98.7% certainty that this is the same microphone boom introduced into evidence as Exhibit 6. The blood stains present on Exhibit 6 are not yet present on the boom at this point in the recording.)
MY: Boom in the shot. (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Steve.
Sound Crewmember Steven Prosser (hereafter, SP): Sorry!
(NeutralNote™: For additional context, see Exhibit 9-A through 9-V, medical records of Steven Prosser.)
MY: Sorry, Mr. Montalvo. You were doing great. Let’s keep it going.
(AM is now visibly crying.)
AM: (quietly) I’ll keep it going. I’m a professional.
MY: Great. Let’s get makeup in here. Cut!
(Cut to the clapper board. Fifth take. There are no signs of AM’s tears when he reappears.)
MY: Pick it up from “Introducing SadSoup”. Action!
(AM follows the script, including ingesting a third spoonful of SadSoup. AM begins to deviate from the script with the lines referencing the deceased dog.)
AM: You know, this reminds me of my dog, Rex.
(AM begins to cry again.)
AM: I should have kept him. I thought Cynthia would take care of him. (EXPLETIVE DELETED). I thought she would take care of me. But I didn’t deserve her. I never deserved her. It was all my fault. All my—
MY: Okay, okay. Stop. You know what? Take four was fine. We don’t really need the last line of the SadSoup segment. If MoodFoods really wants it, we can throw together a deepfake in post. It’s not like we’re breaking the bank on our effects budget here.
(NeutralNote™: Per current Screen Actor’s Guild’s recommendations, MY’s proposal does not represent best practices for professional film development. The ability of current deepfakes to provide quality comparable to trained actors remains a subject of significant debate and disagreement.)
AM: Cynthia’s right. I’m a hack. She said nobody cares about a local Emmy from forever ago.
MY: Let’s take ten, everyone. Someone get Mr. Montalvo another JoyJelly, please. And get makeup back in here. Cut!
(AM looks as if he is trying to say something to MY before the video cuts, but is unable to do so. He is sobbing too hard to form words. He is clearly profoundly haunted by the failure of his marriage and his personal responsibility for that failure.)
(Party A disputes the neutrality and factual accuracy of the preceding line of the transcript.)
(Clapper board. Take six.)
MY: Okay, we’re picking it up from “What about those days”.
AM: I’m sorry, can we hold on a second?
(The clapper is removed. AM stands behind a counter with a plated RageWich framed in the middle of the shot. The bright red coloration of the sauce is consistent with Cayenne Calamity flavor.)
MY: What’s the problem?
AM: I just don’t understand the appeal of this one. I mean, I didn’t understand SadSoup either, but this makes even less sense. Who buys a sandwich that makes them angry?
MY: Anger is a very productive emotion, Mr. Montalvo.
AM: Is that the angle? Productivity? I didn’t really get that from the script.
MY: Sure, why not? I’m starting to feel pretty angry myself, and I’m pretty sure we’ll have produced an infomercial by the end of this. Now please, just stick to the script.
AM: Okay, sorry. I’m ready.
MY: Good. Picking it up from “What about those days”. Action!
AM: What about those days when you really need to stand up for yourself? Are you tired of getting pushed around by your co-workers? Have an annoying neighbor you wish you finally had the courage to tell off? Sick of being polite to aggressive telemarketers? MoodFoods has you covered. Introducing RageWich: a concentrated dose of delicious anger packed between two slices of buttery belligerence.
(AM picks up the RageWich and takes a bite.)
AM: Mmm, spicy! With RageWich—
(The microphone boom from Exhibit 6 descends into view. No visible blood stains.)
MY: Boom in the shot. (EXPLETIVE DELETED)
AM: (EXPLETIVE DELETED), Steve!
SP: Sorry, sorry!
AM: That was (EXPLETIVE DELETED) perfect, Steve. And you (MULTIPLE EXPLETIVES DELETED)—
MY: Cut!
(Clapper board. Take seven.)
AM: (close to the camera, near MY) How the hell has he not been fired?
MY: (quietly) Steve’s the studio head’s nephew. Nothing I can do about it. (louder) Places!
(AM returns to his place by the counter with the RageWich.)
MY: Picking it up from “what about those days”. Action.
AM: What about those days when you really need to stand up for yourself? Are you tired of getting pushed around by your co-workers? Have an annoying neighbor you wish you finally had the courage to tell off? Do you feel like just storming over to your ex-wife’s place and finally telling her what you think of her and her new little boy toy?
(AM picks up the RageWich and takes another bite.)
AM: Maybe you want some answers about how they could afford a trip to Maui when they said they didn’t have enough money for Rex’s surgery. Well, RageWich gives you the confidence you need to—”
MY: You’re off script again, Mr. Montalvo.
AM: (EXPLETIVE DELETED). I was ad-libbing. Ad. Libbing. Have you never shot a commercial before? Never worked with an actual professional actor? I’m giving you gold up here, and you just want me to stick to this (EXPLETIVE DELETED) script written by whatever film school dropout you—
MY: I wrote the script, Mr. Montalvo.
AM: (EXPLETIVE DELETED) you.
MY: Cut.
(Clapper board. Take eight.)
MY: Picking it up from “mmm, spicy”. Action.
(AM takes another bite of the RageWich.)
MY: Mr. Montalvo, I think we have enough shots of you eating the sandwich. It’s fine. You can skip it.
(AM makes a fist, crushing the remaining RageWich in his hand.)
AM: Don’t tell me how to (EXPLETIVE DELETED) act.
MY: Cut! Take fifteen, every—
(Clapper board. Take nine.)
MY: We’re skipping ahead to the SootheSalad segment. I think you could use it, Mr. Montalvo. We’ll finish up the RageWich segment later. Picking it up from—
AM: Wait. Hang on. I want to say something.
(The clapper is removed. AM looks more composed. The crumbled RageWich has been cleaned up.)
MY: What is it now, Mr. Montalvo?
AM: I get it now. I get it. The products. Why anyone would want to buy these things. I can do this.
MY: I’m very glad to hear it. Now, picking up from—
AM: I can sell these. Just let me try something. Roll for a little while, let me make my own pitch. It’s going to be good, I promise.
MY: Mr. Montalvo, I’m sorry if you don’t like the script, but it’s already been approved by MoodFoods. If you could just—
AM: Please. Let me have one take. Just one. If you don’t like it, or it doesn’t work, I promise I’ll stick to the script religiously for the rest of the shoot. No more ad-libs. I promise.
MY: … One take. One take only, Mr. Montalvo.
AM: Thank you.
MY: Action.
(The camera zooms in on AM. He is composed. Focused. He knows exactly what he wants to say about MoodFoods products and services.)
(Party B disputes the neutrality of the preceding line of the transcript.)
AM: To be human is to struggle. To struggle against outside forces, yes. Disease, war, the random unhappy accidents of fate. But more than that, it is a struggle against ourselves, our emotions. Our emotions come from deep inside ourselves. We give birth to them, but we can never truly master them. We are paralyzed by useless regrets. We set out in pursuit of self-destructive folly, directed by pointless rage. We waste years of our short, precious lives swaddled in the comforting lies of false happiness. For millennia, humans have been mere flotsam swept along in the rapids of an emotional current outside of our control. No more. Today, we can be free. Today, with MoodFoods—
(The microphone boom from Exhibit 6 descends into view. No visible blood stains.)
MY: Boom in the shot.
SP: (EXPLETIVE DELETED). Sorry.
MY: (EXPLETIVE DELETED).
AM: (EXPLETIVE DELETED). I don’t have to (EXPLETIVE DELETED) take this. I’m a (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Emmy winner.
SP: (quietly) Local Emmy winner.
AM: I (EXPLETIVE DELETED) heard that!
(AM’s face contorts with fury. He leaps over the counter, knocking the SadSoup, JoyJelly, and SootheSalad onto the floor.)
MY: Mr. Montalvo!
SP: (EXPLETIVE DELETED).
(AM stomps towards SP, knocking over the camera. The lens fractures, heavily distorting the video from this point forward. The only clearly visible area is a portion of the craft services table.)
SP: I’m sorry! I’m sorry!
AM: Rex!
(The audio is replaced with a loud crashing sound, followed by silence. Audio analysis suggests with 89.4% certainty that this is the result of Exhibit 6 striking a hard object with considerable force, breaking in the process. Given an 88.6% likelihood that the hard object in question is the face and/or torso of Steven Prosser, this is likely the source of the injuries documented in Exhibit 9-A through 9-V.)
(Several people can be seen running past the camera in an apparent state of panic. The speed at which they are moving combined with the damage to the camera lens makes most impossible to identify, with the exception of AM, who stops at the craft services table to take an entire platter of RageWiches.)
(Video ends.)
(NeutralNote™: The video time stamp places the end as seconds before the beginning of Exhibit 58-A, video of Alonzo Montalvo’s rampage through the SceneBeyond Studios parking structure and subsequent arrest by local law enforcement.)
(NeutralNote™: Thank you for using NeutralBot. This transcript has been enhanced with insightful AI-generated analysis.)
(Party A and Party B dispute the neutrality and factual accuracy of the preceding NeutralNote™.)
TRANSCRIPT ENDS
