FLYING MAN CLAIMS MAGIC IS REAL
London – Magic exists, says Thaddeus Seams, 37. Mr. Seams claims to be a wizard belonging to a secret society with real magical abilities. Monday morning, Mr. Seams landed in Trafalgar Square, dressed in velvet robes and holding an alleged magic wand.
“It looked like real magic,” said Daisey Patricks, 53, who was present when Mr. Seams arrived. “He was flying above our heads, then landed in the middle of the street.”
Several witnesses reported the man projecting his voice across the square without a microphone or other form of amplification.
Police escorted Mr. Seams into a car. Both the police department and Downing Street declined to comment until they had investigated the claims.
A representative of the British Magical Society issued a statement saying Mr. Seams has never been a member and that their organization has never claimed magic is real.
WORLD’S FIRST WIZARD TAKES MANHATTAN
New York City – Self-proclaimed wizard, Thaddeus Seams, held a press conference today at the Waldorf Astoria to perform his magic for invited members of the press.
Mr. Seams began his remarks by saying he represented a hidden society of conjurers who lived around the world, using magic in secret, attending special schools and operating their own government, which set rules about how magic should be used. He added that by revealing magic to the world, he was breaking the laws of his society.
Mr. Seams went on to demonstrate several spells. With a few waves of his wand and speaking unidentifiable words, he repaired a broken chair, mended a tear in a dress, and healed an audience member’s broken arm.
A hotel spokesperson said Mr. Seams tried to pay for a suite and use of the ballroom with several gold coins featuring names and words not recognized as any known language. An independent appraiser offered to pay the hotel on behalf of Mr. Seams in exchange for the coins, though he would not comment on their value.
MR. WIZARD GOES TO WASHINGTON
Washington, D.C. – Congress held hearings Tuesday afternoon to investigate the claims of whistleblower, Thaddeus Seams, that a secret, magic society exists. Mr. Seams insists that there are thousands of wizards like him hiding in the world, operating a shadow government and economy.
Scientists, occult experts, and religious leaders are also scheduled to testify over two days of hearings about the potential existence of magic.
TESTIMONY OF THADDEUS SEAMS (Excerpt)
Congressman Harris – What was your profession in this magical world, Mr. Seams?
Seams – I work in the Office of Teleportation and Transportation as a deconstruction analyst.
Harris – Can you explain what that role entails?
Seams – I monitor teleportation traffic around the world to ensure conjurers don’t appear on top of one another, considering it’s difficult to see where you’re going when you’re already there.
[Laughter from chambers]
Harris – You mean you can use magic to teleport? How does that work?
Seams – It just works, sir. It’s magic.
Congresswoman Brown – You mean to say your society can teleport instantaneously across cities?
Seams – A strong conjurer can teleport across countries, sometimes continents with the right channeling.
Brown – Can you explain why you’ve chosen to keep this technology secret?
Seams – It’s not technology. And it wasn’t my choice to keep it secret. I think magic should be –
Brown – How long has your society had the ability to teleport?
Seams – Thousands of years, I believe.
Brown – Do you realize the damage caused by keeping this a secret? Teleportation could have solved climate change. No more emissions from cars or planes.
Seams – Yes, madam, I realize that. It’s part of why I decided to come forward.
Brown – Though you admit to keeping this a secret for years yourself.
Seams – [Drinks water, refills it with his wand] Yes. There’s a great deal of magic that’s not being utilized to its fullest. I’ve tried speaking to the leadership in the conjuring community about engaging open relations with the mundane world, but I was rebuffed. They believe magic is too powerful to share. I say that is precisely the reason we should share it.
Brown – Why now, Mr. Seams? What made you come forward as you have?
Seams – To save the world, of course.
WIZARD CASTS SPELL ON SCIENTISTS
Chicago – A team of scientists met with the wizard Thaddeus Seams in Hyde Park on Monday to examine his alleged magical abilities and artifacts.
Scientists familiar with the meeting described the wizard as friendly and eager to share his knowledge.
Several noted particular interest in his bag, which was leather and about the size of a laptop case. According to Mr. Seams, the bag contained a library of more than three thousand books and specimens of thought-to-be make-believe creatures.
Dr. James Goldhaber was in attendance and said he saw some of the most amazing things in his career. “I don’t know how he did it, but he pulled a jackalope from his bag. The jackalope was bigger than the bag.”
“This bag either disproves core tenets of physics,” said Dr. Florence Manning, a professor of theoretical physics at the University of Chicago, “or it reveals that other spatial dimensions not only exist, but may be accessible if we can turn this ‘magic’ into functional technology. The applications could be endless.”
RELIGIOUS LEADERS CONCERNED ABOUT MAGIC
Geneva – Representatives from world religions convened to discuss the implications of magic on theology and society.
Dr. Swati Tharoor, author of three books on Hinduism, said during her opening keynote, “Miracles have been a part of almost every religion, and now we have the chance to see these miracles for ourselves. My question is, why now?”
Rev. Kurt Succow, after a panel discussing the subject of miracles, said in an interview, “For the first time in my life, I find myself turning toward science rather than faith for answers.”
While many were optimistic about the good magic could bring to poor and suffering people, some dismissed it as a fraud no different from sham preachers hawking fake cures.
Leaflets calling the wizard Thaddeus Seams the Anti-Christ, were spread among the attendees. Police say they have no suspects as to who created the leaflets.
Over a phone interview, Mr. Seams addressed his and the conjuring community’s views on religion saying, “Much as in the mundane world, there are a variety of perspectives among my people, though generally gods are not part of the conversation.”
U.N. RESOLUTION DEMANDS MAGIC BE ACCESSIBLE TO ALL COUNTRIES
Beijing – China proposed a U.N. resolution, with more than fifty sponsors, to include representatives from all interested countries in the investigation of magic’s legitimacy.
In a statement, President Jiang Biwu criticized the wizard Thaddeus Seams for spending all his time in the United States, ignoring the interests of the rest of the world, writing, “It is in the interest of China and all other countries to know about any secret societies within their borders. Mr. Seams must provide his knowledge to the global community.”
Algerian Prime Minister Mouloud Sifi spoke in support of the resolution, saying, “Our countries must pay for drugs to save our lives, for patents to build our infrastructure, for companies to exploit our natural resources. Magic may be the first truly democratized resource, and its access should not be restricted.”
In a letter brought by a pigeon, Mr. Seams wrote in response to our request for comment, “The Conjuring Community is as diverse as the world it’s hidden within. I intend to share my knowledge of magic as widely as I can, though I am not a diplomat nor am I practiced in world affairs. I ask for patience as I try to learn as much about you as you learn about me.”
INTERVIEW WITH SEAMS ON KATHY MARTIN LIVE
Kathy Martin – I’d like to welcome my first guest, the most interesting man in the world, the wizard, Thaddeus Seams.
Martin – Thank you for joining us.
Seams – Thank you for having me.
Martin – You’ve impressed a lot of people with your abilities. You say you want to save the world. How do you plan to do that?
Seams – My hope is that by my coming forward about magic, the conjuring community will recognize that staying secret benefits no one, and instead choose to help solve the big problems in the world. There are wizards with powers well beyond my own, and they could accomplish a great deal.
Martin – Are you concerned that no one has come forward to verify your claims of a secret society? How do you explain that?
Seams – There is a lot of misinformation about the mundane world in our community. We have our own newspapers, so our impressions are filtered and uninformed.
Martin – You mean there’s no freedom of the press?
Seams – No, that’s not what I mean. We have reporters, but they tend to cover the conjuring community rather than regular people. They say it’s what viewers want.
Martin – Do they see themselves as better than us?
Seams – Unfortunately, some do.
Martin – Do you, Mr. Seams? Is this how you’re planning to save us?
Seams – No, not at all. I just want to help. We’re all people, regardless of our abilities. We should all share the resources we have available.
Martin – But why has no wizard come forward before?
Seams – It’s illegal to reveal magic to non-conjurers.
Martin – So you’ve broken the law.
Seams – I have. I think the law is wrong and unfair. Everyone should have access to the benefits of magic, not just the conjuring community.
Martin – If magic is so powerful, how is there no other evidence of it?
Seams – There have been incidents. Often, it’s an honest mistake – a spell is cast just as a witness passes by. There’s a department that specializes in memory spells to deal with these accidents.
Martin – You mean mind control?
Seams – Oh no, this is completely different than mind control.
Martin – So you’re confirming mind control exists.
Seams – Well, yes, but…
Martin – Mr. Seams, how do we know you haven’t been using mind control on us?
Seams – I’m not that powerful. It takes an incredibly powerful…
Martin – Mr. Seams, should we be concerned that magic is a threat to our society?
Seams – No, not at all. Magic is a good thing.
Martin – But you said there are some wizards who think themselves better than us.
Seams – There have been evil wizards in the past, but we’ve been able to contain the damage…
Martin – Mr. Seams, how do we know you’re one of the good ones?
BACKLASH AGAINST WIZARD LEADS TO RIOT
New York City – A protest took place Wednesday night outside the Waldorf Astoria where wizard Thaddeus Seams has been staying. After a contentious interview on Kathy Martin Live, Mr. Seams has been subjected to criticism for potential abuse of his magical abilities, including mind control and wiping memories.
Daniel Rawlins, one of the protestors, said, “We don’t let just anyone have nuclear weapons or tanks. How do we know what this wizard is doing to us?”
Assemblywoman Georgia Keegan spoke to the almost 500 protestors, saying only dictators and fascists hoard power for themselves. “This wizard is living in his ivory tower and doesn’t have to worry about putting food on the table or keeping his kids clothed. He can just cast a spell.”
DOCTORS DEMAND ACCESS TO MAGICAL HEALING TO SAVE LIVES
Kinshasa – Dr. Louisa Famba said in an interview that she had requested wizard Thaddeus Seams use magic to address the recent outbreak of Ebola in three cities in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. There have been at least twelve new cases over the past three days, with more than 3,000 cases this year and more than 2,000 deaths. Dr. Famba said this outbreak was taxing what few healthcare resources her country has, and that the virus’ communicability made it almost impossible to eradicate. “Magic might be cheaper and more effective than a vaccine,” Dr. Famba said. “Vaccines cost millions to research and distribute. Magic appears to only require a wand.”
Mr. Seams previously demonstrated the ability to heal broken bones more effectively than current medical science. In testimony to Congress, Mr. Seams further claimed magic could cure any non-magical disease.
“From malaria to HIV to Ebola,” Dr. Famba said, “we are at the epicenter of the worst epidemic since the 1918 Spanish Flu. If magic can save lives, why won’t he use his power to do so?”
Dr. Ismail Hassan, a representative with the World Health Organization, said if magic’s health properties are found to be safe and effective, many diseases and chronic issues could become curable, saving an estimated 25 million lives per year.
Mr. Seams declined to comment.
STATEMENT FROM U.N. SECRETARY-GENERAL ADDRESSING THREAT OF MAGIC
Following are U.N. Secretary-General Aamir Wasim’s remarks to the Security Council meeting on security and trade with the Conjuring Community.
Less than two months ago, we believed the greatest threats to humanity were made by science. I did not believe magic existed and remain skeptical of such claims. While Mr. Seams has performed miracles I cannot explain through science or God, the locations he provided as the sites of secret schools and shopping centers have not been found by satellite or on-the-ground inspections. That said, there is reason to err on the side of belief, balancing the benefits and risks.
If magic exists, it has the potential to do more good in this world than electricity, running water, and penicillin combined. It also could destabilize our economies, destroy faith in our leaders, and subject us to dangers we cannot fathom.
If these wizards can control our minds, could we stop them from launching nuclear weapons? Could they use magic to replicate our currency, causing havoc in our economies? What if they decide our way of life, our religions, or use of resources, infringe on their magical territory?
I urge the Security Council to stand with me in denouncing the Conjuring Community for hiding their natural resource and refusing to engage in diplomatic relations with their countrymen and neighbors. If the Conjuring Community do not reveal themselves, the Security Council should consider escalating the issue as a direct threat on the well-being of the world.
SELECTION OF SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS FROM MORNING OF OCTOBER 12
Traffic is not moving on #CharingCross. WTF? – @mraccountant87 – 0903
Is anyone else’s Google Maps having trouble connecting? I’m in # LeicesterSq – @bellattahere – 0904
What the hell is Casting Road? I don’t recognize this street at all. – @britstone3456 – 0904
Does anyone recognize this building in #LeicesterSq? Photo attached – @downtondorthy – 0906
Someone moved the Burger King to put in a townhouse! #LeicesterSq – @killzme76 – 0907
Transcript from video upload by @abbyyouknow01:
“Hey, my followers, Abby You Know here in Leicester Sq. where things are getting weird. Like, roads have changed and the buildings have all moved. Everyone is running around all confused and weirded out.
“So this building that’s now in the middle of all the tourist shops is like an old castle or something. It’s all stone and tall but crooked and weird. Someone’s coming out. It’s an old lady. She’s got cool robes on. Girl’s got some fashion. Holy shit, she has a wand. She’s lifting it up. Can you hear her? She’s saying she’s the Chief Conjurer.
“What’s a Chief Conjurer?”
EYE-WITNESS ACCOUNT OF THE FIRST MAGICAL SUMMIT
This is Cooper Wolf in Paris, reporting for the Prize News Network at the first summit between world leaders and the Conjuring Community. There are more than three hundred people in attendance, including twelve wizards.
Thaddeus Seams, the man who started all this by blowing the whistle on magic, is also here.
Seams is seated near the central dais to the side. I must say, he looks a bit pale.
The Chief Conjurer, Abigail Lyre, is taking her seat between the Secretary-General and the French president who’s hosting this gathering. Mrs. Lyre seems vibrant and bright, though she needed help stepping onto the dais.
President Francois is welcoming everyone and proclaims this a great day in the history of humanity, saying we’re venturing down a new road of discovery and development.
The Secretary-General is standing now and saying he looks forward to peaceful relations with the conjurers and hopes they can share their great abilities to rid the world of illness and famine and turn back the damage of climate change.
The Chief Conjurer is taking her turn. She stands slowly, resting a hand on the president’s shoulder.
[Audio from Mrs. Lyre’s microphone]
“Thank you, President Francois and Mr. Secretary. We are honored to be your guests, and though this may not be under the circumstances we would have chosen, we are appreciative of the opportunity.
“Magic has been around for millennia, and it has been kept secret all that time. Pain and strife have existed for even longer, and magic is no salve. The purpose of keeping magic restricted was to allow human development without a crutch. You have created light bulbs and airplanes, all to compensate for a lack of magical abilities. This is something that should be admired and respected.”
[Mrs. Lyre pauses and draws her wand from her sleeve]
“However, it is not our fault that you have not managed to use your technology to solve your greatest problems. You allow poverty to exist even though there is enough wealth to share. You allow families to starve even though there is an abundance of food. You fight over oil, even though the substance is destroying this planet.
“This is why we chose to hide – because we could not help you solve your own problems. It should be your responsibility to fix them.
“But that option is no longer available to us, thanks to the irresponsible ramblings of a rogue actor.
“While in isolated incidents, we have managed to extract memories of our existence, that will not work anymore, as the knowledge has now spread too wide. Your veiled threats against our safety and security required us to address this head on. We have decided the best course of action would be for the Conjurer Council to take over governance of the entire populous, effective immediately.”
[End audio from microphone]
Cooper Wolf reporting. Everyone has exploded in anger. People are leaping onto their chairs and yelling at the Chief Conjurer. I will do my best to continue reporting, though it is impossible to hear what anyone is saying through the pandemonium.
It looks as if President Francois is trying to reason with the Chief Conjurer, but she is just looking at the crowd with a smile.
[Sound from stage cuts out]
The room just went completely silent, though the representatives still look like they’re shouting. I’m far in the back and don’t seem to have been affected. It was like the air was sucked out. The Chief Conjurer has her wand out. I think she just cast a spell on everyone. Hopefully my feed is still transmitting. People are returning to their seats.
[Audio from Mrs. Lyre’s microphone]
“As you can see, you cannot govern yourselves. You need someone to coddle you, silence you. This is a simple spell so we can discuss the future, together, calmly. I hope you appreciate that we do this not by choice, but by circumstance. We will cure your diseases and feed your hungry, and we ask nothing in return. Just the chance to bring the world together, for the first time. And for this, we have Thaddeus Seams to thank.”
[End audio from microphone]
The Chief Conjurer has turned to Seams, who is still seated with his hands covering his face. She’s clapping, and the whole room is starting to as well. Apparently, so am I. We’re all clapping.
EDITORIAL: WORLD THANKS CONJURING COMMUNITY
New York City – Celebrations will be taking place around the world tomorrow on the first Magic Day, in honor of the Conjuring Community and their role in saving the world. Climate change is being reversed. Disease, war, crime, and famine are almost non-existent because of magic spells.
No more are nations part of the first world or the third world. There is no wealth and no poverty. Everyone is happy thanks to magic making everything wonderful.
Part of the celebrations are in dedication to Thaddeus Seams, the man responsible for bringing about this Golden Age. Though Mr. Seams hasn’t been seen since the Paris Summit when world leaders begged the Conjuring Council to take over governance, his contributions for diplomatically bringing these worlds together are worthy of praise.
The world is a better place thanks to the wisdom and generosity of the Conjuring Community. Their continued guidance will bring a new age of prosperity and peace, and it is our unquestioning trust in them that will bring that future to today.
EXCERPT FROM “THE PERSONAL PENNED TREATISE OF MR. THADDEUS SEAMS”
Magic is too powerful to be trusted. Its uses are too secret, its guardians too few.
I never thought I would last this long. I expected the Community to try to stop me before I could demonstrate magic beyond what spells could wash away. Maybe they knew I had contingencies planned. I’m not the most powerful conjurer, but I prepared.
My autoscribtor is documenting everything I did and said and is manifesting copies in secret locations around the world. Should the pen ever stop writing, these copies will be sent to every newspaper and world leader. It would mean I’m no longer able to able to represent magic myself.
It won’t be long until they attempt to hide magic again. Knowledge is most powerful when rare, and knowledge of magic is the most powerful of all.
Yet it is the willingness of people to forget that will forever impress me, even when remembering should be so much easier.
Memories are a form of energy and energy cannot be destroyed. But no one seems willing to put the effort into digging deep enough to find what’s hidden. When magic has been exposed before, often by accident, the event is wiped and the memory written off as a dream or something from a movie or book. The memory remains, locked away, hidden within a mind uninterested in what isn’t readily available.
I know a written recitation will not serve as an adequate replacement for seeing magic in-person, but I hope it will help awaken what has been lost.
If what I say sounds bizarre or make believe, push past that assumption. It will feel uncomfortable. Maybe you’ll even laugh at the consideration that what I’ve said is true. But keep pushing. Recall the days as I described them, consider the details I offered, and probe yourself for memories equal in detail. The more you push, the more the fog will thicken, making it easier to look the other way and ignore the injustice done to you.
The magicians of your world understand that magic is all about sleight of hand. While they use distraction and mirrors for their illusions, real magic finds value in similarly being ignored. If you knew the influence it had over your decisions, the power it had over your lives, your choices would no longer be your own. Ignorance allows magic to reign without impediment.
I fear there will not be another after me willing to take this risk should I fail. The decision to betray my people did not come easily. Had my life taken a slightly different course, it is possible my choice would have been different. Bravery was never my strong suit. Even with my magical abilities, I’ve spent my life toiling away at a desk in a room without a window, and all to make magic a bit more efficient. It was like rearranging grains of sand to make for a more pleasant beach.
I hope this document helps break through the fog and leads to a better, more equal world. This may be my final act. There is no way to know if I’ve succeeded. It is up to you who read this to believe that what I say is the truth and to refuse being blinded from what is hiding in plain sight.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons or memories is purely coincidental and should be ignored.